The snows of life

Tuesday, Feb. 5—how marvelous and astonishing to have been welcomed by the brilliance and freshness of new snow this morning... and what a surprise, too, to discover it had snowed as I pulled up the blinds to let light into our room.

Snow that had silently fallen during the hours of night to remind us that each moment of the year has its own beauty, and winter is not the least.

And how blessed and thankful I felt for another good night rest.  And how uplifting and wonderful it is to witness God’s mercy in a personal level when you place yourself in His hands in total surrender.  You see, sometimes, I find it hard to fall asleep, my anxious heart won't let me rest and I have to go my Heavenly Father in total dependence for rest and peace. My faith is then renewed, my body healed and my mind put at rest.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say to the Lord,

“My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

When I was a little girl, I was awfully frightened by ghastly darkness and the sounds of night. The fear of sleeping alone, or sleeping at all, was so intense that I remember my heart racing crazily, my body trembled and sweated profusely. Most nights I felt ill, and I could not sleep at all. Miraculously, one day when I was around nine, I discovered I had an all-powerful Almighty Savior and my life was deeply transformed. 

Even so, we still live in a sinful world, and sometimes the anxiety and phobias of childhood, when not treated, can prolong till adulthood, and there are times when, still today, things are not so great.  This is the beauty of how life is designed for us. 

One thing is clear to me: the wound is where the light enters. And light did enter into my wounds, and into my life, and it filled my soul with peace and confidence. And perhaps this wound, this pain, was allowed so that I could have a deepened awareness of life?

One day I realized that my sufferings were not a punishment. They were a tool to deepen my perception of life and the receptiveness to the world that surrounded me.  It expanded my consciousness, and it made me more sensitive of the divine.  It made me more present, and more capable of feeling the joy and light and gift of present moments. My fears were the contrast through which I could finally understand and feel lightness. It is a privilege to feel discomfort, it is a gift to be gutted.

The rainbow

Monday, Feb. 4—the winter warm spell of the other day is gone and, in the far distance, mountains are covered in a new cloak of cotton-white snow.  Snowy peaks rise up to the heavens swathed in a dark gloominess shaped by clouds that are too low and heavy with precipitation. 

Then around five we were finally blessed by rain.  It was dark and gloomy while it rained, and as I looked outside to this gloominess under rainy clouds, I praised God and glorified His name through prayer and songs, all the while longing for His presence and a view of his goodness and glory… in Nature, in a bird?  Little did I know what He had in store for me…

Heavy rain lasted for about an hour before it left us; then giving way to one of the most extraordinary rainbows I have ever seen in my life...

Have you ever asked God to show you His glory? When you need to know He is with you, that you can count on Him to lead you through your desert wanderings? Moses asked God to show him His glory. He wanted the certain assurance of God’s presence. And so did I.   

The neighbors climbed to the roof to see it better 

and the neighborhood was bathed in a mysterious, glorious light.

“I will cause all My goodness to pass in front of you,” the LORD replied, “and I will proclaim My name—the LORD—before you. I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion" (Exodus 33:19)

The gypsy caravan

On Friday, we did something really crazy...

We went some place, and sold our gypsy caravan..

I’m not going to lie to you, selling our dear gypsy caravan wasn’t easy. Having to say goodbye to a lifetime of memories was heartbreaking. We have traveled far and wide in our gypsy caravan, we have made so many memories from its cozy rooms, planned so much, made so many connections, dreamed so much in it...

From the warmth of its colorful interiors we have laughed, hugged, daydreamed, and even cried. We moved from one side of the country to the other taking with us our gypsy caravan, she was our family, our home and our place to shed our tears at night during that difficult time.

From the coziness of our colorful and magical gypsy caravan we have listened to the enigmatic voices of the night under thick warm blankets, we have woken up to glorious mornings, listened to the rain falling on the canvas roof, and tasted the real taste and smell of daybreak.

Our souls have been filled with spiritual satisfaction here, the glories only revealed at midnight have been made ours from inside our gypsy caravan, as we became one with Nature in so many ways. We were the rivers we bathed in, and the trees we rested under, my hair had held the scent of the wildflowers, and my skin the color of the sarsaparilla in summertime. So much so much…

But alas, nothing stays the same it all gets crushed. It all gets broken. It all passes with time. Only the moment you're in has any meaning. Even magic fades too fast! And thus, we decided to sell the gypsy caravan... Oh, but of course, we could never never say goodbye to this, or this, or this!...

So what we did? We bought a new trailer! A real gypsy caravan this time, where you don't have to fold your blankets and pillows and put them away any more and where you can leave your bed and tables up all the time and nothing would have to be folded up or put away and folded down into a box!

The beds would not have to be folded down and pulled in or out either when it’s time to make camp or dismantle.  The top won’t have to be cranked up manually and no more poles to hold the tent up over the bunks or beds.  I’m so excited!

We have bought a few necessities to organize things in the trailer, and I can't hardly wait to start decorating it.  I have so many ideas of what I want to do there and how I want to decorate it!  But I need to be patient and wait a little longer, because as we will be parking it on one side of our house, a new gate will need to be installed first and part of the yard will have to be expanded too to make it fit.  We have already hired someone to do the job, but it won't happen until next week.  So exciting!

Spring days?

Early mornings are so beautiful and precious to me...

 

My heart feels aglow with the sky, my lips whisper words of equal simplicity to the sweet morning air, and the little clouds like pink feathers are the crown in which my soul proclaims itself free—a cheerful invitation to make my life innocent and true and everything that’s good again.

And it seems to me too that, perhaps Old Winter is ready to part… already?   Oh, I so wish!  But it happens that the last couple of days or so have been so sunny and clear, that I want to believe we're bound for an early spring... like spring in February!  It was so sunny and warm this past Friday, in fact, that people were stepping outside their homes without having to wear their big thick coats, birds in the garden and their friends, Mr. and Mrs. Squirrel were seen everywhere, happily playing around from branch to branch and from tree to tree...

Then, we went to Edwards, and I ordered a Boscobel rose, and an Abraham Darby too!

Rosa ‘Boscobel’, is a bushy shrub rose with red buds opening to large, salmon-pink flowers throughout summer. Blooms have a pretty myrrh fragrance with hints of elderflower, pear and almond. Rosa ‘Boscobel’ was named after the wood in Shropshire where King Charles II hid from Cromwell’s soldiers during the Civil War.

And an Abraham Darby rose… what can I say!  I’ve been in love with this rose ever since I can remember.  And I will finally have one in my garden this year!

I’m so excited for spring!

This joy has kept me daydreaming a lot lately, making plans for the garden, about what I want to see there this year and what need to be done there to make my dreams come true, about being bronzed and molded by balmy breezes, warmth and sunshine, maddening, gladdening every one with a gypsy beauty full and fine!  And well, it does the soul good to dream!  So alas, let's make our world a better world to live by dreaming, and then by going out to plant beauty!