Happy Thanksgivings!

Five days off from work—to get to be home again, enjoy my nest relish my solitude appreciate life love every moment… to be happy, to contemplate my little world outside; the world of birds in the silent winter garden and be one with them.  Feeling content, feeling blue, nurturing little joys deep down in my soul, feeling nostalgic at time feeling young inside old outside.  Feeling that time comes and goes too fast to be able to appreciate it; rather soon rather short for all I want to do and feel and for all the dreams being weaved into the depths of our souls to become realities… 

I’ve been cooking, and baking, and I’ve so many books I want to read and so few hours of the day for such endeavors... 

I think of mom throughout my days, I miss her. I see her in me in my fingers and in the apple of my eyes. I want to tell her so many things want to talk to God and hear angels sing. I walk the lonely garden with a broken wing hidden under my heart. It happens every winter, life changes colors, life is a blue balloon melting away… in dreams and hopes and a desire of a genuine faith.

It snowed lightly yesterday; a puff of a snow and the sun is out today warming up the garden and melting ices away.  Birdfeeders have been refilled and as I write this, behind me, I hear a ruckus of birds and squirrels competing against each other for a fair share.  

Later on today we’ll get together with those loved ones closest to us, we’ll share food with strangers too and mingled in sentiments as equals under this world of God.  Praying for heavenly blessings towards us and toward others. For unity and love and for the peace that passes all understanding… a strong, resolute faith and confidence, that no matter what circumstances you encounter, God is faithful, God is good, God will keep you, God will provide for you, and God will bless you.  

A happy Thanksgiving to all!

Our Christmas tree

Winter is a lingering season, is a time to gather golden moments, embark upon a quiet journey, and enjoy every idle hour…

It is also the time to find all your Christmas decorations and sort them out…

Decide what you want to see and where you want to see them...

Make sure you add lots of little lights, candle-lights, fairy-lights...

Pine cones big and small and crystal bowls

Feeling happy feeling part of everything around me.  The warm glow of fairy lights on my eyes... wishes, dreams and songs.

Christmas is all about love, family and children. It doesn't matter what we eat or what presents we get as long as the holidays are spent with loved ones.

Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childhood days, recall to the old the pleasures of youth, and transport the traveler back to his own fireside and quiet home!     

Our family room looks so cozy and bright with the Christmas tree here.  Not too fancy not too big not too much.  Just the perfect amount of everything... and happy lights!

Have you put up your Christmas tree yet?

Late autumn days

I walk the silent garden in awe—the last sun of the day immersing the western sky in golden pinks. All my senses are stirred; my soul afloat in a buoyant kind of an ecstasy.  And I walk on tiptoe, so as not to hinder the sacred silence that has befallen… walking in reverse, and out of time, as if by doing so I could stop time or get ahead of time… before dusk transpire, leaving my soul hanging from its bare bones.  Days are so short, so short and this melancholy that comes with those last days of autumn is in us too, this feeling of nature flowing back and forth. It is the time for the quieting of spirits and the slow walks under orange moons. It is the season of inner calm and a kindly stoicism etched in memories of joy.

I hear movement, a bird, or two, foraging among the dried leaves of vines for ripen grapes, and I want to reach out and cuddle them in my hands like these last days of autumn cuddle my heart in auburn leaf hands.

We are the gold and reds that carpet the grass. Earth and all she gives in the harvest months enchants me… and it makes me want to hurry too and jump over the days, and I guess I had, because yesterday I felt this incredibly urge to start decorating for Christmas… and so I did.

And thus, our Christmas tree is up and lighting shadows away…

It is cold and dark as I'm finishing my post, but inside is the gentle light of fairy lights, the music of flutes playing softly and the smell of fresh cinnamon buns wafting out of the oven to great our souls as we smile and sit down to enjoy our home for the last few hours remaining of the day, or the evening, until we leave home again in the early morning… goodnight everyone!

Life...

Do you make your bed in the morning? I use to...

until a few weeks ago...

You see, it's dark when I leave for work every morning, and it is already dark when I come back. I don’t get to see our home during daylight any more, and only get to enjoy our home for just those few hours before I go to bed and wake up to start again with the same routine the following morning.  Thus, our bed doesn’t get to be this pretty any more.  It only gets ‘fluffed up’ every morning... it is our routine now.  

I work 10-hour shifts during my weekdays, and only take ½ hour lunch. These are very long hours and very long shorter days I'm living.  But this schedule it also contributes to my Fridays off.  And thus, Fridays are an expression of freedom and goodness and of been able to see my home again and get to spend time in it…

It is such an amazing feeling, such joy to be able to do such simple, familiar chores again, like making our bed in the morning and see our lovely home during day hours.

Fridays are now also the days to do everything we can’t do during our long weekdays, such as bathroom cleaning, floor cleaning, washing and folding clothes, cooking, shopping for food and work on the garden. This past Friday we accomplished so much! Our bathrooms are now clean, our floors shinning and even the garden got a few hours of cleaning up.

I pruned most of the roses and got done with most of the perennials; cutting them down to the ground and cleaning flowerbeds, while the Fisherman helped with racking and picking up leaves… which were a lot!

The garden looks a little neater now; a little tidier, and although its floors are still covered in leaves, those are staying to serve as a protecting bed during our cold winter days.  

This is the time to work on tying up vines and ramblers too, but I just don’t have neither the energy nor the desire to do so, and I’m afraid we’ll just have to wait and see what would I do about it comes spring again.

The other side of the garden still needs work

Roses are frozen in time...

and frogs and other friends sleep under beds of fallen leaves...

My life had changed again. Or it is changing.  It was my own insecurities and indecisions what caused this change and made me go back to a full-time job, but I have made peace with myself and feel confident I will survive this time.  At least I am not feeling miserable at my work, as it had been the case before.  Hours go by fast, and as I learn new complicated programs and get used to my new environment, I feel happy. What a nice difference from my last job at the courthouse in our little southern town this is!  A more civilized ambient I should say.  A more friendly oriented-less gossipy atmosphere, and one that it is truly letting me be me without the ‘people’ pressure, so I can work in peace.  So, although it may be long hours, my soul is at ease.  I will survive.