Friday, February 8, 2019

The snows of life

Tuesday, Feb. 5—how marvelous and astonishing to have been welcomed by the brilliance and freshness of new snow this morning... and what a surprise, too, to discover it had snowed as I pulled up the blinds to let light into our room.


Snow that had silently fallen during the hours of night to remind us that each moment of the year has its own beauty, and winter is not the least.


And how blessed and thankful I felt for another good night rest.  And how uplifting and wonderful it is to witness God’s mercy in a personal level when you place yourself in His hands in total surrender.  You see, sometimes, I find it hard to fall asleep, my anxious heart won't let me rest and I have to go my Heavenly Father in total dependence for rest and peace. My faith is then renewed, my body healed and my mind put at rest.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the Lord,
“My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”



When I was a little girl, I was awfully frightened by ghastly darkness and the sounds of night. The fear of sleeping alone, or sleeping at all, was so intense that I remember my heart racing crazily, my body trembled and sweated profusely. Most nights I felt ill, and I could not sleep at all. Miraculously, one day when I was around nine, I discovered I had an all-powerful Almighty Savior and my life was deeply transformed. 


Even so, we still live in a sinful world, and sometimes the anxiety and phobias of childhood, when not treated, can prolong till adulthood, and there are times when, still today, things are not so great.  This is the beauty of how life is designed for us. 


One thing is clear to me: the wound is where the light enters. And light did enter into my wounds, and into my life, and it filled my soul with peace and confidence. And perhaps this wound, this pain, was allowed so that I could have a deepened awareness of life?

One day I realized that my sufferings were not a punishment. They were a tool to deepen my perception of life and the receptiveness to the world that surrounded me.  It expanded my consciousness, and it made me more sensitive of the divine.  It made me more present, and more capable of feeling the joy and light and gift of present moments. My fears were the contrast through which I could finally understand and feel lightness. It is a privilege to feel discomfort, it is a gift to be gutted.


10 comments:

  1. I really needed to read this tonight... This is an amazing perspective that I had not really grasped until you posted this. I remember suddenly an essay I wrote at age 15. I believed God washed deep gullies with our sorrow in order to fill us more deeply with joy. My teacher told me I was an old soul... But I had drifted to a place where bitterness lives and points a finger at others with less pain... Thank you for reminding me of the light entering the wound.. such a remarkable vision in my mind as I think on that.. I really love to hear your thoughts and this, more a journal of prayer and praise. Anxiety is my new roommate. I need to evict her, don't I?

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    1. Oh, my friend, believe me when I say this tenant can be pretty stubborn! I have filed numerous evictions against her throughout my entire life, removed her belongings and changed the locks on the apartment, but she always fails to respond, doesn’t appear in court and ignored all action. I do get help from the Judge, but it is a hard battle to fight.

      Keep up the faith!

      Love

      Cielo

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  2. Such an inspirational and lovely post today! Loved your thoughts and words.

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    1. Thank you my friend! Sending hugs and smiles aplenty!

      Cielo

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  3. Just commenting on your blog to let you know how much I love your style! I always leave feeling inspired and ready to go re-arrange a room! Thank you for such wonderful inspiration.

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    1. Aww, that is so nice to hear! Thank you for taking the time to let me know... love it!

      Cielo

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  4. What a beautiful post, Cielo! I also suffer with anxiety and just want to share that two other things that help me are sitting on a bolster or cushion (so that your knees are lower than your hips) in total silence. Concentrate on your breath; sit in silence. When your thoughts wander, as they will do, come back to your breath. I have also discovered CBD oil and it has been a lifesaver. Totally takes the edge off severe anxiety and I sleep deeper, too.

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    1. Hi Mel, thank you for letting me know about this. I'm not sure what CBD oils are, but I will google it, and let you know. It is so comforting knowing I'm not alone on this. Thank you for sharing your story with me. Faith and hope keep us going strong...


      Hugs


      Cielo

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    2. Hi again Mel... I was reading about the CBD oils... is it safe? Do you drink it? And where do you get them?

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