Back to work

Autumn and autumnal days are for cats wandering the garden, for dried rose petals swirling alongside dried leaves in the afternoon air… and it is for cozying up your home and filling your potpourri lamps with autumnal smells—apple cinnamon, a thankful harvest, lemon pumpkin and fall into autumn.  Those are the scents wafting around my home from the scented wax cubes on my little lamps.  All of these fragrances speak to me in many comforting ways… of chilly evening and cozy pjs, white fluffy blankets and heaps of pillows; baking, hearty soups in the evening and hot delicious coffee in the early morning.

The callery pear tree in front of the kitchen is throwing magical red hues upon the window.  Its leaves have turn so red that when they are kissed by the last sun of the day they shine and sparkle tossing and hurling reddish light all over my kitchen. 

It is magical.  These are the true magical days of autumn; when winter settles upon the land almost inadvertently; making us only aware of its presence by the sound of chilly winds outside whispering secrets in incomprehensible languages, while tree branches sway this and this other way, making nostalgic creaking sounds. 

The wind has been playing on the windchimes this afternoon. I have always associated this music with a true autumn day, and the still melancholy that I love - that makes life and nature harmonize. On October 20^th, I went outside and covered the bushes in our front porch in fairy lights.  Those are my Christmas lights, but because we’re still a few days away from Christmas, I am calling them that—fairy lights. 

I decided to work on that before the frigid temps arrived, making it hard later on for my fingers to work and for my soul to want to go out… and thus, the festive lights are on the bushes and they are already lifting up shadows and brightening up our nights. I don’t care if anybody else in the entire neighborhood have theirs on yet, or if they look at our house and think we’re a strange people… I am happy to have that task taken care of now, so that later I won’t have to deal with it, and worry about confronting extreme temperatures. It is all done!

The garden is in a total disarray.  I started pruning the roses and cutting all the peony bushes down to the ground, and all that debris is covering the garden’s floors; waiting for me to regain my strength so I can continue working on it.  

Last Monday, on October 21^st, I started a regular office job again, a 10-hour office job that had kept me very tired throughout the entire week, leaving home in total darkness in the morning and coming back to it again in total darkness in the evening.  I really didn't have to do that, and I would never understand why I keep wanting to prove myself to myself.  Proving what?  I have proven myself time after time that my place is at home with my birds and my roses, but alas, the spirit is never satisfied. 

I'm so tired... I come home so tired.  And at the office?  Well, this is me this morning... Can others see what we look inside? When we’re mad when we’re bored when we’re in love? You do?  Boy, and I thought I was doing a pretty good job at hiding my world-weariness and craziness inside me.  Well, if you can see something odd on this photograph, then remember that we can only see things within others that we see within ourselves!

Happy witches day tomorrow, everyone!