Our wounded world

Working working working—inside and outside.  That’s pretty much how I’ve been spending my days lately.  When I finally get to go to bed, not only my entire achy body is screaming at me, but my brain, too, shouts for rest.

Sometimes, sleep is hard to come by, and even when my own tiredness finally takes me out of my miseries, my sleep and dreams are sorts of a bumpy ride, and I’d wake up in the middle of the night in fear... fear of the dark, the night, the ghosts that won’t sleep in my own heart.    

I guess it had to do something with the days we’re living and the angst the daily news puts in my heart and soul, the cry of our precious blue world wounded and suffering.

Yesterday, we finally risked venturing out to go buy some food.  It was such a strange and sad feeling seeing how much our dear world had changed during these past weeks.  Everyone was wearing their protective masks and gloves—like if our world itself had been wounded and it was sick and dying; everyone walked in a fast-worried pace, each one evading each other, running away from other human beings, who must probably were feeling as worried and scared as those they were running from... how sad, how very sad everything looked and felt to me. 

When we finally got back to our car, I burst into tears, for in my mind all of a sudden, the vision of a wounded world was too much for my soul to bear. In my mind I saw this beautiful world that God created with so much love and pride, as a human being now bedridden by death; a human watching helplessly as parts of his own body deteriorated and died... for we are all parts of one same body. 

My houseplants have been my salvation. They comfort me and give me the peace I crave in amidst the chaos we’re living.  I find God among my plants, and thus, this past week I decided to transform a small space by my kitchen into a solarium...  

One afternoon, I broke into panic... I cried and cried and I needed to go out... needed to get lost in a green lush world outside this world... I could tell I was worrying the Fisherman, but thankfully he knew exactly what to do with me, so he drove me to nearest Lowe's where I selected a few large potted plants to bring home... 

My entire mood changed immediately. Dark thoughts and feelings of despair melted away as I walked the gardens at Lowe's and among the many beautiful potted houseplants.   

When we got home, I immediately got to work. I moved things around and re-potted some of my old plants, I divided and replanted the old geraniums and moved them out, I broke a clay pot and made a huge mess, part of the rug got soiled and had to be cleaned out, I found the package of Spanish moss I’d been saving for something, and made little arrangements with it, making an extra amount of mess everywhere.  I had to vacuum again, and again and I found the most beautiful plate that I had forgotten I had, among my boxes of things I keep in the garage and then, I placed my rock collection in it...

 

I moved some of my favorite arts to this area and filled the space with organic things and details from Nature that I brought in from outside... a bird's nest with some eggs resting on it, my favorite fairy statue, pine-cones and fairy lights and a hung up a wreath covered in fake vines over one window...

I kept arranging and rearranging things until I was pleased...

Finally, I worked on embellishing the light fixture.... and made it into a natural chandelier of sorts... 

Using grasses I had brought from the desert during our camp-outs, and vines... 

I thinking I also need to see some long Spanish moss hanging from there...

But otherwise, I love it so much!

My Mona Lisa is smiling down at me...

and at everything I've done here! 

I think she likes it! 

When I was done it was almost midnight. I was very tired, but I felt happy and excited about the prospect of waking up the following morning to my beautiful new solarium...

Please, take care of yourselves dear friends, and may our Heavenly Father heals His wounded sad world soon.

Much love

Earthquake

I Feel the Earth Move—remember that old song? Well, I did my friends… I felt the earth trembling shortly before 6 p.m., last Tuesday, and it was the most bizarre and terrifying feeling ever…

I was sitting on my bed texting and laughing with my kids over the phone—the whole crowd of them, including daughters in law, my sister and my friend Christ, when all of a sudden everything started shaking… the bed, the walls, the widows on my right side of the bed; everything was moving... or shaking or rumbling... 

I looked outside and wondered it perhaps it was the wind; the wind that had been blowing all day since early that morning, because it had been somewhat stormy and still at that hour of the day the sky was heavy with rain and the atmosphere was gloomy and it felt dark all over, but no, it wasn’t the wind shaking windows and moving my bed.  

It couldn't be a tornado or a hurricane. Could it?  This is not hurricane country, I thought...  but what was it then.. an earthquake?  It could't be.  Then that’s when I hear the Fisherman coming down the stairs in a hurry... ‘we’re having an earthquake’, he announced and that’s when I entered in panic mode.

And indeed, it was an earthquake!  And not a little one — a 6.5 magnitude. It was centered below the Sawtooth Mountains about 80 miles northeast of where we live, but it rattled the state capital for a fraction of a minute, which to me it felt more like half an hour or so...

Freighting things are happening.  The spirit of God is being withdrawn to awaken humanity.  All these things that are going around our world are making me very nervous and shaky and my mood is very fragile these days, in the sense that I cry easily, and explode easily or don’t seem to have much patience with those around me...

The fact that it’s still so very cold around here and this insufferable wind keeps beating things up and beating my soul without stopping, it’s taking a toll on me... on my quarantine soul.  Can I at least go out into my own garden where perhaps I can be spared from getting this monster of a virus that’s affecting so many, and work the soil with a decent sun shining down on my back and no wind to hurt my ears and throat... my poor bones can't take this for much longer. 

I’m tired of being sequestered in the house, tired of fear, of not being able to go out to shop for food and if I do then learning that someone in that particular store was contagious and now they are closing, tired of not being able to even go outside to my garden... and blah blah blah... ok, I’m tired.

Life in quarantine

Nature had been having some odd tantrums of lately—rain for days, on days that never used to get rain, or being rained before like what we'd been seeing... winds; winds that are blowing furniture and things around for miles away with sometimes hail and strange sounds outside. 

This old world is talking to us... it's been telling us something, like some broad-castings that the universe wants us to hear...

Thus, not much have I been accomplishing in the garden these days, doing things only whenever the weather allows it, working between sunshine ad sunshine, between little instances of warmth and so on…  but the garden is already looking so pretty, and the grass is so green. 

Every rose bush is putting precious new leaves that are wine in color at the beginning until they turn green and strong and later form a bud, or many buds.

So, I’ve been quarantining myself for days; mainly cleaning inside, washing clothes and decorating the house using things I already have… I just get bored seeing the same thing for days and days.  Does it ever happen to you?   

I'm getting tired of the color orange and all the many arts on walls, and as the days go by I'm more and more inclined to soothing neutrals, so this room will be changing real soon...

And cooking… I’ve been cooking our three meals every day too; putting up more weight to the extra winter pounds I have been carrying with me since we moved here—which I can never seem to lose after winter is gone and also trying to add a lot of veggies and fruits to our diets too, to perk our immune systems.  Why did I accepted moving back here anyways?  Love.  It had to be a love thing. Or a thing of love.

Yesterday morning we went by the office and I brought home all my plant babies.  Had they missed me?  Cause I know I have missed them terribly, thus I brought then home with me so I could take care of them and enjoy them here… 

We don’t know exactly when we’re going back or when our office will be opening its doors again, and the Fisherman and the rest of the supervisors, vice presidents and such are meeting twice every day by phone working on things and planning for the future of our company, employees benefits and such.  We’re living on such tremendous times for sure.   Be safe my friends, take courage and if you have to hide, hide under His wings. 

“To be a righteous woman during the winding up scenes on this earth, before the second coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling... She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home--which is society's basic and most noble institution.”
― Spencer W. Kimball

Frightening times...

Dear little house of my soul called “Blog”. I haven’t abandoned you, really. Forgotten you? Never. You know that!

I have been busy… busy busy—at times frightened, grumpy, teary and sometimes… sometimes I just sit around and think and pray… pray for the world, for those who are suffering and for the protection of those I love. But mainly, I work…

Did you know dear little house of my soul called “Blog” that I’ve been back to a regular office work? Yes, I have. For a while now. My entire days consist of being in a cubicle in front of a computer. Of course, with the amazing luck of now being situated just right across the floor-to-ceiling windows, outlooking the landscape outside where mourning doves sit on tree branches and robins make their nests and serenade my days…

Walls are high enough to shown me away from the view outside while I’m sitting down, but I can still see the sky above and if I stand or go around my cubicle, all those amazing windows are there… always letting all that light in, nourishing my soul and caring for my plants. And the most amazing thing of all this is: Gloria can’t shut these shutters on me anymore. No sir!

You see, this is my new space now. But it wasn’t so when I first started. Our office space was rearranged at the beginning of this year and some of us got to be moved around. I ended up sitting here now, right at a corner angle facing the northern windows with no other cubicles alongside. What luck!

My previous office space was situated on the other side of our office, outlooking only the parking lot and I was neighboring with Gloria. Every morning when beautiful sunlight was pouring in filling each space with joy and blessings, Gloria would stand up and shut the shutters with a heavy hand, leaving my little space in shadows. What disappointment that used to be. But that is in the past now. 

Dear little house of my soul called Blog, didn’t I told you it wasn’t going to be easy working with people again? It isn’t, and it never will be, but here I am… how lucky can I be! To have this amazing spot now, away from Gloria and from everyone else… it is like having my own little garden where I can just be. 

Although I may be still surrounded by others and people’s cubicles are still all around me, mine sits in this precious corner along those open large windows that nobody cares to shut on me… 

I tried to make my little office/cubicle as cozy and as close to my personality as much as I can. So, I have filled the space with plants, books and little lights, just like I do at home. Supervisors and people love it, and even come around from time to time just to see and feel the coziness of my little home outside home. 

This past Wednesday we were finally sent home. After our State Governor issued a mandatory closedown, we sent out messages and shut down phones and computers. Before 5:30 pm everyone was out of the building. These are scary times we’re living. At such times the universe gets a little closer to us. These are strange times, times of beginnings and endings. Dangerous and powerful. The outcome depends in Whom we have believed!

Stay safe, wherever you are!  And God bless!